this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
