k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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