I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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