Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
