He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
