It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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