dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
