Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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