ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
