its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
