Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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