He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm determined to sit on that face.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
