Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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