let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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