Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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