Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
