Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
