Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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