She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
