Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
