How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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