it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
