Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
