I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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