I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
