Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
