sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
