The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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