What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
