she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
