just come out here and I will go home with you...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
