We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
