batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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