Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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