I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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