I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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