i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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