am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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