But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
