Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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