There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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