Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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