you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
