How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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