and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
