Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
