Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize