He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
