If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
