it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize