So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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