I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
