I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
