no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize