she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
