all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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