think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
