he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
