Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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