rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize