I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
