You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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