Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
