My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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