of course. lets lasso hookers.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
