So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
should my penis look like a turkey
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
This toilet bowl is my home.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
