Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
