When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
