Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
