right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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