i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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