you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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