Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
