Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
