Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
