I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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