Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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