I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
